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| tearful Oscar at the hearing |
murder trial by apologising to the family of the girlfriend he shot
dead.
The Olympic athlete also recalled the panic attacks he says he has
suffered since he killed Reeva Steenkamp last year and described how
he has nightmares that have caused him to wake up to the "smell of
blood".
"There hasn't been a moment since this tragedy happened that I haven't
thought about your family," the double-amputee runner said as he
addressed the Pretoria courtroom and Ms Steenkamp's mother June looked
straight at him, stone-faced.
"I wake up every morning and you're the first people I think of, the
first people I pray for ... I was simply trying to protect Reeva. I
can promise that when she went to bed that night she felt loved," said
Pistorius, stating the central part of his defence, that he shot Ms
Steenkamp by mistake, thinking she was an intruder in his bathroom.
Pistorius killed Ms Steenkamp last year by shooting her in the head,
arm and hip through a toilet door in his home. Prosecutors allege he
intentionally killed her after a fight in the early hours of February
14, 2013 and have sought to paint him as a hothead with an inflated
sense of entitlement and an obsession with firearms.
In his evidence, Pistorius also said he is on antidepressant medicine
and has trouble sleeping, and described one night when he went to hide
in a cupboard after waking up in "a panic".
"I climbed into a cupboard and I phoned my sister to come and sit by
me, which she did for a while," Pistorius said.
His evidence came on the day his defence opened its case and after
legal experts said it was crucial to his case that he testify to
explain why he shot Ms Steenkamp. Pistorius faces 25 years to life in
prison if convicted of premeditated murder for Ms Steenkamp's killing.
He spoke in a soft, quavering voice while making his apology and
describing what he said was his fragile state. At one point, Judge
Thokozile Masipa asked him to speak more loudly.
Later, Pistorius grew more settled and confident as defence lawyer
Barry Roux led him through questions about his childhood, his
athletics career and how he overcame his disability to run at top
track meets. Pistorius's life story is one that impressed many people
around the world, before he killed Ms Steenkamp.
Pistorius also described the positive effect his mother Sheila had on
his life after he was born with a congenital condition and had to have
his lower legs amputated when he was 11 months old, and the grief he
felt at her death when he was a teenager.
But he also described how as a family they had "security concerns" and
his mother slept with a gun under a pillow on her bed.
He was asked by Mr Roux to talk about a 2009 boat crash when he
suffered serious facial injuries. He said the accident had a "massive
impact", causing him to become fearful, withdrawn, more vigilant about
personal safety and more focused on his sporting career. He denied
media reports at the time that he had been drinking alcohol before the
boat accident.
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