Nine years of courtship; 17 years of marriage; yet every day is a valentine for my wife and I- Emanuel Iriogbe

right to left- Emanuel Iriogbe when he met his wife in the year 1989 and the couple at present

By Evelyn Okakwu

For people destined to be together, every day is a Valentine; whatever the situation. Destined couples will sour higher as time passes. In this interview, with Emanuel Iriogbe, he talks about his meeting courtship and marriage to his lovely wife Faith Iriogbe

 How have you been able to come this far

To start with I would give God all the glory Because he is the one that has made it possible for us to come this far. Those that are familiar with me will tell you that I am a very complex person. Now when the time came for me to look for a woman that I would spend the rest of my life with, I decided first to put into consideration the kind of person I am.  I am aware that as a person I am quite erratic so I went for a woman whom I believed was highly domesticated. A quiet person that could condone anything from me. Also I told myself that if I find a woman who agrees to be my wife, I would love her with all my heart; Soul, spirit and body. My wife was just 19 when I met her. And I was 22

How long did you court with your wife.?

 I met my wife in the year 1998 and we started dating seriously in the year 1990. Then we got married in the year 1997 so we courted for about 9 years.

 Although I know it’s not exactly what the Bible says but we began living together as far back as in 1990. Though she constantly went home to her parents and they all knew me and ware not objective to our being together. Also she was quiet while I was not the promiscuous type. That way I knew we blended. My parents particularly felt that if I had chosen her to be my personal companion, then there was really something special about her.

We were at that time, not even financially buoyant. Both of us ware in school. The money was not exactly as available as was needed. What I could boast of financially was the N300 my parents could provide for my upkeep at that time in school. One important thing at that time was that my wife knew what she wanted, while I was also quite resolute.

What lessons do you have from your past experience for youths who want to get together as man and wife from what you have said?

I will not mince words; let two temperamental people not come together. Let there be a balance. If you know you are temperamental, please avoid temperamental people. Another point is that women should avoid the thought of settling down only with already made people. I have an array of stories about woman who made that vow and ended up regretting it.

 Would you allow your daughter to marry from any part of the country?

Love knows no boundary. Gone are the days when people relied on their ethnic groups or clans for partnership. Love is a bigger than that. So for all I care, anyone who says his child must marry only from a segment of the society is wasting his or her time. That is a very medieval thought. I even advice that if language is the only barrier for separating a couple, those couples should resist such intended separation.

One of the challenges in modern homes is that some couples, especially women complain that they have to do so much, with the responsibility of combining modern work with work in the home front. Studies have also proven that women indeed do a little much if they have to combine both. What is your take on this?

On that note I think men and women alike should not exactly consider that such a big deal. I; for example love cooking a lot I can make my own food for myself, in fact I derive so much pleasure in that. Also when I come home late from work, I would not want to disturb my wife, I will work straight into the kitchen and make my kind of food. I call my rice emergency rice, because when you see me making it you may not want to eat it; but when you taste it you will realise that it is really tasty. So I don’t consider it such a big deal, except that part where you talked about sweeping the house, well I don’t like staying in an environment that is dirty so I may as well just do something to make sure that my house is neat by probably sweeping the surrounding around where I stay. But basically I don’t consider it much of a problem. Besides when you love someone you don’t  stress that person.

Do you celebrate Valentine?

Every day for me and my wife is valentine so all this issue about me and my wife needing to have a special day, to mark a culture of celebrating love is really not so significant to us.