Wednesday, 4 February 2015

Forced into an early marriage; Linda says her cousin’s pain can best be imagined






By Evelyn Okakwu

Listening to the story of Linda an undergraduate of a tertiary institution, hear in the Federal capital; I realised that fate is indeed the result of varying circumstances, for different people.
I had gone to the campus to tell undergraduates about my blog, and the intentions I had to share experiences from domestic environments, as well as stories from the political social and economic scenes.
I had barely finished talking when this beautiful, but quite looking girl came to me and said she had a story to share about her sister, but would only speak on condition of anonymity.
She said she was speaking not just to help her sister, because in her opinion: “My sister’s case is quite complicated and I ,must say that no matter what anyone does for her to feel better, nothing can take away the pain of losing her past life, for no no reason at all”.
Linda (Pen name) said her sister was born the same day her mother died. Her story: “The lady I want to talk to you about is a cousin sister of mine. She is alomst forty years old at the moment, but was married at the age of 23. My cousin had lost her mother at birth, and her father had to marry another woman.
This woman was so mean to my cousin that she prayed dearly for God to take her out of that house, at all cost.
The story is quite long, but what pains me most is that my cousin became so frustrated that she became a prey to the very first man that came seeking her hand in marriage.
His physical or even economic background was not exactly bad.
But unknown to us all, or as my cousin later found out, her husband was under a spell because he had impregnated a girl, whose child he refused to take responsibility for.
When the girl’s aged mother found out, she cast a spell on my cousin’s husband, saying he would never live to hear the cry of a baby in his home. My cousin kept getting pregnant, and having miscarriages, till someone from her husband’s place told her about the problem.
My sister prayed and prayed to no avail. During that period, her husband asked her to go and stay with my step mother and see if her motherly experience would help in managing the pregnancy she was having at the time.
When my cousin’s pregnancy was 8 months gone, her step mother sent her back home, telling her that it was wrong for a girl to have her first child in her parents’ home, even when her husband was still alive and married to her.
My cousin lost that baby and almost lost her life, barely one week after returning home.
But that was not all; her husband got so mad, that he accused her of being responsible for everything that was happening to him and drove her away
He has since settled with another woman, in a traditional marriage. And even though I can’t explain that; the truth is that they both have children, as we speak. Now my cousin is back to that family she ran away from, to marry the wrong man, and worse off than she was many years ago.
I am telling you this because I think I learnt from my sister’s experience that life after marriage cannot be compared with the life lived before it. Because no matter how long it is for us, as women, before we marry; it’s certain that if we marry the right person, we would want to live far longer than the number of years we had stayed single, to enjoy what we have. So please share this story; may be if others read and learn, God will find a way to restore my cousin’s joy”
Listening to her, I could not help, but hope that your prayers and mine would help lessen the burden in Linda’s heart and that of her dear cousin  

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